Lurker at 11.58.40 spot on 👍

I’ve seen it regularly across the years where men who anyone with a brain can see are massively stressed and struggling are hauled up for having negative attitudes or an attitude problem when their stress levels reach boiling point or their natural (in the circumstances) lack of enthusiasm for every idea comes out. It’s rare for anyone to stop and think why they’re doing it and very common for them to be deemed to be a bad person which leads them to feel they are being isolated.

REPD looking at that site I’d say lessons still aren’t being learned. The comment “ many men already weaponise their mental health to avoid consequences for their actions” is yet another attitude of dismissing mental health issues in men that leads to the high suicide rates. People need to learn to think before they open their mouths to spread their own biases as facts.

Repd - just read that Leyton Orient piece you linked to and I can understand what one guy was alluding to about possible fake depression because some people will jump on the "depression bandwagon" (for want of a better expression), to get something out of it for their own ill gotten gains and to seek sympathy, just like the many people (I presume to be) claiming disability allowance that I see on crutches (who walk faster than I do) or those riding around on mobility scooters who suddenly get off and walk around shops like there is nothing wrong with them. It can be a very fine line to judge people with hidden illness and sometimes we need to tiptoe around them until we know the facts of their situation.

I hope Gazza is ok. I didn’t agree with the timing of his comments BUT the reason I didn’t say anything is I think I know where he’s coming from. Having been in the position I think he’s been in, subjected to toxic and mental/physical health damaging behaviour by management (on several occasions) I know how hard it is to move on from a not unjustified hatred of the person who did it. I also know how hard it is to realise that others who haven’t been through the wringer with that person will have a very different view and experience of that person. Gazza is showing all the signs of still being in a bad way about it despite having managed to see the help available around them. It probably burned him a lot to see the concern for what he sees as the cause of his own issues. Probably a situation where someone else would have been best placed suggesting staying off this site for a day or so.

Morning all. I saw this comment on a Leyton Orient forum just now, and made me wonder about the AFCW working environment at the time of DM's departure - [Link]

Glad to read Danny is safe. He seemed like a top bloke when working for us, I liked his style. We all say stupid stuff in private; hopefully he’ll be back in a role he enjoys soon.

Cheers Silk

Glad that Danny Macklin didn’t meet his Waterloo. Onwards and upwards, chap.

Weather from the BBC website for SW19. On Sunday a high of 8c with the low of 4c overnight. On Monday it will be 6c with the temperature of 5c at kick-off. Should be okay as long as tonight's frost can be dealt with on Sunday.

Have we got under soil heating? Theres a few days of cold weather coming up, hoping the game is on, not been to a Dons game since Newport.

Morning all. Hope everyone's OK this morning. Conscious that some of yesterday's subject matter may have been difficult for some and might have brought back tough memories. If that's you then please find a friend / group to talk to... don't stew on it. Have a cuppa and a natter.

On the subject of censorship the most important thing is self-censorship. The most important thing to remember is not whether you can say something but whether you should say something.

It is very good news that Danny Macklin has been found safe and well and I hope he gets the help he needs to come back from this. Good luck Danny on what will be a hard fight.

*at least

Dontanian - very true, and ditto a small number of others on here (thankfully not many, but shame on them anyway imo). It’s still the case that, despite so much work done to raise awareness and to provide help and advice, some won’t accept mental health as an issue at all, whilst others know it exists but enjoy getting in extra digs - incredibly sad, but at there has been good progress and most people recognise the need to support those who suffer rather than exacerbate their suffering with spiteful remarks… 😕

Spectacular lack of empathy from Gazza. See ya 👋

I am glad that Danny has been found and maybe he can now get the help he obviously needs.

Gazza is in the same WhatsApp group as me and he checked out of that too after I left a lengthy post explaining that my wife has suffered from depression for 30 years. As I made clear to him, when my wife was at her lowest point, the last thing on her mind was thinking about our kids (who she would give her life for) or myself and any other family members or friends. It was nothing to do with being selfish either. She was in a state of mind where nothing else mattered.

HW - May be talking out of turn here (happy to be corrected) as I don't have the expertise. It feels to me when somebody realises suicide may be selfish, they are in a (comparatively) better position than when they don't. I guess better than "suicide is selfish" it's more about appreciating suicide will affect your loved ones. As you say some people (probably more than some) would regard suicide as selfish. That feels quite pressurised as somebody enters a dark place. Feels better to see it as their loved ones don't want to lose them. I guess you could argue that becomes even more pressurised, but hopefully focuses on the positives at least.

Checking out for a while. Be good to each other.

Scotty - absolutely right. Some people describe suicide as selfish because of the pain the person leaves behind - in family, friends and beyond . But if you're in a really terrible place, you don't see it like that: you think people will be better off without you. That's when reaching out and talking can literally be a life-saver.

HW - Your on a roll. Just turned a new day and already another great post from you. Your personal experience is well worth reading and will hopefully help somebody in the future who finds themselves in a dark place. I'd like to add as a family man like you and Danny I can relate to your scenarios and I immediately think about your families. But the concept is the same for those who are single or with less immediate family. Others do care.

Gazza - I can only speak from personal experience and say that when I was in my darkest place, my sense of self-worth was so shot to pieces I thought that if I took my own life, my family would not be much bothered. I thought I wasn't worth anyone caring about me. Only when I got better did I realise what bollocks that was, and how devastated my wife and kids would have been if I'd have died. The mind can do terrible things to you at times.

I didn't want to say this while Danny Macklin was missing. I read his tweets and there is some really good stuff in there that should get everybody thinking. It felt like a final plea for help. Which brings me to Kentish Don's earlier post. I disagreed with what he said and especially the timing. But all day I've wanted KD to be right. I wanted DM to be trying to find a final way to stop his declining path. I truly hope he gets the support to get better and equally the space with his family without the pressures to spend time with them. I believe the majority of what he posted today. Not sure I believe how badly he regards himself as a family man. Male or Female a work/life perfect balance is extremely difficult.